Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I have been in the family for almost a year now and I feel like it is taking you EXTRA long to figure out why I do the things I do. So I thought I would help you out. Here is a list of a few things you seem to be "misunderstanding":

*I actually LOVE having food in my hair, especially spaghetti sauce. So you don't have to wipe it off every time I get some up there.

*Do you really think that I like the whole wheat double fiber bread? YUCK! I would rather wait til eating time is over and then find some paper to eat. So next time, don't fish the paper out of my mouth; it's my lunch!

*When you take away toys like the stapler or scissors, it makes me so mad that I scream a blood curdling scream and clench my fists together and let my whole body shake. So next time you see me do that, just give me back whatever you took away.

*I want to help you clean the kitchen. That is why I am always getting into the cleaners. Nothing personal, but you could keep the kitchen floor a little bit cleaner (who throws all that food onto the floor??)

*I have a great idea about where to keep our clothes. Instead of keeping them in the drawers, lets try just having them thrown all over the floor. You keep picking them up and putting them away just after I get them all out. You have no idea how tiring it is to keep taking them all out! Next time, give it a few days and I am sure you will love my idea!

*Why do you keep closing the bathroom door??? That is my favorite place to go! And it has my favorite hiding spot: the toilet! Man, it took you so long to find the phone yesterday. And you should have seen how cool it looked in there. I don't understand why you were so upset....

*I am a pretty stubborn guy. So when you say "You may not put your hand in your dirty diaper while I am changing you" what do you think I am going to do? Next time, don't tell me what I can't do...cause you and I both know that I am not afraid to do it!

*I love playing with Tyler. He is such a great brother. He is getting much better about sharing and playing with me. But do you think you could ask him to stop body-slamming me? That is usually where things start to go south....

*When you put me in my crib and I cry and pound on the wall, that means that I don't want to take a nap. Please just come in and get me and then give me 100% of your attention and don't even think of setting me down and keep bouncing or swinging me so that I don't have enough time to think about how tired I am. Is that too much to ask?

*Oh yeah, and one more thing. I am tired of trying to squeeze into six month clothing just because you don't want to do the laundry!

This is just a short list and once you master these things I will give you a new list. Keep up the good work!



  1. Rach, that is too funny! I totally enjoyed reading that, and I can so relate. Thanks for the funny this morning, not I feel like I can go tackle the mess in the kitchen...maybe. Later...later is better.

  2. Ha! That was very clever. I'm coming back to CA in a few weeks, Vanessa (my now fiance!) and I will take a trip out to the bay area to stop by and say hi!

    David Wilkes

  3. HA! I love this. I imagine you're going to comply 100%. Right??? (HA.)

    I want to do a list like this from Abby. :)

  4. Haha, this was hilarious! You're such a good mom!

  5. Oh Rachel, I laughed so hard! What a cute boy - it's fun to hear more about him - and what a great mom!

  6. Rachel!! You are the funniest! It is especially funny to me because if you signed this letter with Macy's name, I would have believed it was really from her!! Macy rubs peanut butter in her hair- it's a new spa treatment I think is what she's trying to tell made my day so happy to read this!! I love you! p.s.- do you know that I have a private blog and you and I have the same backround! Great minds think alike! It's I think I have to email you the link though- do I have your email? I just started it-I'm so excited that we can connect like this!